It's Wednesday and I'm back with a #RealTalkWithTahiry. You all send in your questions, I answer them and may post them to get the input of my followers. This week I had a DM from a young lady that read:
Tahiry, my best friend of 23 years has been married for like 2 years and her husband is great. The only thing is, he's very judgy. My best friend and I used to go out, hit the clubs and have a great time all the time. But when she got married all of that stopped for her, but I continued to live my life. I used to tell my best friend everything, but I've kinda stopped because i noticed her husband would know all of my business and judge me for it. Last night, I was over to their house for dinner, and he brings up something that I didn't know he knew anything about. Something that I didn't want him to know anything about and proceeded to make judgy comments about me and how I live my life. I felt that he crossed the line, but because I was in their house I didn't overreact. I just told him I appreciate his concern and changed the subject. I'm kind of pissed with my best friend because we used to do the same exact things and it was always between us... But now that she tells him everything its not just between us. I'm thinking about cutting her off. What do you think Tahiry?
- Annoyed Friend (Names have been changed of course)
I think as we grow up each of us kind of goes through this process... Sometimes our friends move on and don't do the same things that they used to and sometimes they even live vicariously through us. In this instance though, I don't think you should cut your friend off. Instead, I think you should just have a conversation with her and let her know how you felt and that you want the things that you two discuss to be between the both of you and to go no further. Let her know you felt judged and you won't feel comfortable telling her anything else if he knows all of your business. See how she reacts. If you find out later down the line that he STILL knows too much about you, then you may want to sensor what you say to her and just confide in your friends where this isn't an issue.
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Tune in EVERY Wednesday for #RealTalkWithTahiry on Instagram @TheRealTahiry