Since my last Unofficial Q&A With Tahiry post on my blog, you guys have been going crazy in my DM's with questions. I appreciate it tho, that you all value my opinion. If you know me, you know one thing I've experienced is love, break-ups, heartbreak and all things relationships.
So here we go with todays question:
I just wanna say I loved you on Love & Hip-Hop and they need to bring you back. But anyway, I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks now and I decided to let things go to the next level. It was clear that things were headed to the bedroom and I was cool with that. But what I wasn't cool with was that he wouldn't kiss me! He was feeling on me and making me feel amazing but every time I would try to kiss him he would turn his head. He would kiss all on my face and lick on me, but he would NOT KISS ME IN THE MOUTH. I don't understand why. Was my breath bad? Did he think my mouth was nasty? What? I need advice on how to handle this. The sex was great, but I just can't get over that he wouldn't kiss me. HELP!
- Kissless not Kisses (Names have been changed to protect my followers/fans)
So happy you thought to ask me! So sweetheart, this is actually normal in todays day and age. It's a lot of guys that don't kiss, but it usually describes where and how he sees you honestly. Now the kissing and licking all over the face... It can be a bit much. But let's just dissect this situation. So, normally I would say, he isn't kissing you because it's just a hookup and he's probably not into you enough to actually want a relationship with you. Harsh, but in a lot of cases this is simply the truth. But because you all have been seeing each other for a few weeks now, with no sex, there is something about you that he likes, and he's probably trying to cultivate a relationship with you. I doubt it was your breath, because no one can stand to be around a person in that type of intimate setting, that has bad breath. PERIOD! So what could be happening is that he's just not into kissing. He may really be into you but he just doesn't kiss. It might be an insecurity on his end. Maybe he doesn't know how or has received complaints in the past. Maybe he just doesn't like to kiss. How old is he? Sometimes older guys think that licking and doing the most is what you want. Then sometimes younger guys can be so used to not kissing because they're just hooking up with girls, that they forget, or they just don't do it. But I think, that if you are willing to sleep with a person and/or give them what they want, they should be willing to do the same. Relationships should NEVER under any circumstance and no matter what kind, be one sided. I would suggest that you really initiate it. So before things get to hot and heavy and you're both thinking of just the same one thing, try to initiate four-play that involves kissing. Or how about at the end of date night you just end everything with a kiss on the lips. If he still seems uncomfortable, talk to him about it. Say something like, "you know, I noticed that you don't want to kiss me, why?" Make sure you ask an open ended question to get to the root of things. If you ask something like, "do you not like kissing?" it's just going to be a yes or no, and it can make it easier for him to lie. But if you ask him an open ended question, you can really see what he's thinking and can kind of determine if this was something innocent that he's telling you the truth about, or if he is bs'ing you.
I hope this advice helps.
Ladies and gents, you all have SOOOOO many questions that I decided to have another Real Talk With Tahiry soon. When I have one on Instagram live, you can ask your questions there and I can give my honest answers.. I'll have details on my IG page for when I'm doing the next Real Talk With Tahiry. Until then, keep checking out the blog, I'll be answering some more of you guys questions. I might even open up my email and dedicate a question every week to answer.
Have a great and productive week!